The glitter from your big day hasn’t even settled yet, and you’ve only learned how to call your partner “husband” or “wife.” When two people tie the knot, their lives are filled with dreams and late-night pizza runs. But what happens when a tiny, healthy, and beautiful baby is about to join that bubble?
Being married and then becoming parents is one of the most important changes in life. There is a lot to learn on this road, and you will find love you never thought was possible. Aussie couples can make it through this change with a little effort, a lot of humour, and the knowledge that they’re not alone in this lovely chaos.
You know, the times when you planned everything out and daydreamed about the perfect life? The level of care that went into wedding planning can help you as you get ready for the baby. You can now use that energy to get ready for your future together as a family, just like you planned for your future as a partner.
From ‘Us’ to ‘Three’: Redefining Your Team
One of the most important things about your life will change in a big way. Suddenly, your relationship becomes more than just the two of you. Your conversations will likely shift from plans for the weekend to feeding times, and diaper-changing rounds may take the place of date nights for a while. To understand this change, you need to embrace the new identity of “us.”
The Importance of Communication
Communication that is open and honest is more important than ever. Talk for a long time before the baby comes.
- Talk about what you want from being a parent.
- Discuss what you think your job should be.
- Clarify what you both need to feel supported with.
Will you take shifts, or will one of you be responsible for the “night shift”? Considering that both of you may not have had much rest, who will be responsible for the grocery run? Early agreement can prevent many mistakes.
You are a team, after all. When you’re tired and angry, you need to rely on each other. Saying something like “You’re doing a great job” or “I have this; why don’t you take a break?” can really help.
Accepting the Wonderfully Flawed
To be honest, the beautiful pictures of parents on social media don’t always show the real picture. There will be days when the baby won’t calm down, the house is a mess, and you haven’t showered by noon. That’s also fine. Give yourself some forgiveness and stop trying relentlessly to be perfect.
It is normal for your attention to go to what your child needs right now, and that is fine. You can temporarily set aside the need for a spotless house and fancy food. You and your child’s needs should come first.
Furthermore, now is a great time to look into new hobbies that fit this new phase. Joining a local parents’ group and talking to other people who are going through the same thing can actually save your life. Baby sensory classes are another excellent way to bond with your child and meet other new parents. You can take your child to these classes when they want some fun and you want to leave the house.
Keeping Your Relationship Strong In the Midst of Chaos
It’s easy to prioritise your new baby’s needs over your relationship with your partner. Still, if you want to have a successful family, you need to work on your relationships. Your new life is based on these relationships.
Even if you don’t have time or money for fancy date nights, you can still get back together in small ways.
- A quick cuddle on the couch after the baby is asleep.
- A cup of tea together and a chat about your day (no matter how severe the diaper explosion was).
- A simple walk while holding hands can also help you stay connected.
Do your best to keep in touch with each other. Talk to your partner about how they really feel. Being a parent can be hard on both couples’ emotions; it’s powerful to feel seen and heard by the person you love most.
Mate, Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
Australia has a strong culture of independence, but being a parent is one place where saying “I can do it all myself” can be harmful. Ask your family and friends to help; they’ll probably be delighted to. Accept their offer to watch your child for an hour, bring you food, or make dinner. Thereafter, you could take a nap.
There are also great support groups all over the place for newlyweds. You don’t have to go through this journey by yourself. There are maternal health nurses, online groups, and counselling services that can help. Asking for help shows that you are strong, not weak.
The Amazing Find of a Lifetime
The change from being lovers to parents is obvious. It will test you in ways you never thought possible, but it will also give you love and happiness that can’t be beat. Being honest, willing to work with others, and enjoying the beautiful messiness of life will help you get through this exciting new step.
Take a deep breath, hold each other close, and get ready for the most amazing trip of your life. You really do.